I’ve taken a short break from writing the last two weeks to put all of my effort into achieving a goal. Despite going all out, I did not get the result I wanted for reasons outside of my control.
Needless to say, I am feeling beyond disappointed and frustrated. Unfortunately, disappointment is something that we all deal with on an almost constant basis throughout our lives.
For most, that is a difficult concept to understand and accept. We all want to hear that we will go through life without suffering setbacks or disappointments.
I wish that were the case but it’s not. You will be disappointed in life. Over and over again. In all types of different situations.
The important thing is to not let disappointment derail your life. I have known many people that let disappointment ruin them.
Being intimately acquainted with disappointment over the years, I have learned how to deal with disappointment in a way that allows me to keep on going and taking the hits as they say.
There are three steps that I go through that help me accept and overcome disappointment. They are not the end all be all by any means, but I find them to be very effective.
Step # 1- Let it out
When you’re disappointed by something or someone, don’t hold it in. You need to vent your frustration in a healthy way that allows you to get it out of your system.
Even though it’s something we all go through in life, that doesn’t mean that it’s something that’s easy to accept.
Disappointment for me is never easy to accept. If you want the honest truth, it’s gotten much harder to accept as I’ve gotten older.
When you get used to winning, losing can be that much more difficult to tolerate.
You need to get it out of your system. When you face some type of disappointment in your life, figure out a way to let your frustration out that doesn’t include punching a locker like a dummy (my hand still hurts).
Give yourself a few days to vent. Talk to someone. Bitch about it. Yell about it. Write about it. Do whatever you need to do to make your peace with it and say everything about it you want.
You cannot hold it all inside of you. It’s not healthy. If you do not let it out, it will stay inside of you and fester. It will bring you down in ways you could never foresee.
Once you let it out, I guarantee that you will feel better. You will still probably feel disappointed and frustrated, but it will not be the end of the world like you thought.
Once you let it out, you can then figure out the next step.
Step # 2- Do something about it or move on
There are two possibilities within this step. Depending on the disappointment you are dealing with, you can either do something to improve upon it or move on.
If there is something you can do to fix a disappointment than by all mean you should do it. If you messed something up and have the opportunity to try it again than do so. Do not simply quit.
If the disappointment is something that is over and done with never to present you with another chance again, then accept what happened and move on.
If you cannot change or improve a situation or outcome, there is zero benefit to continue to stew about it and go in circles. You need to go to the next thing.
When you examine high performance people, you find that they have an ability to move on from a failure or disappointment almost instantly.
It’s scary how easy it is for them to do it. Experience with disappointment has taught them that there is no use spending time on something that they can’t do anything about.
This is where far too many people get stuck. I have friends that have literally been on this step for years. They let one disappointment hold up their entire lives.
You can’t do that. You need to move ahead.
Step # 3- Review your goals and find the next thing
After I have gone through the first two steps, I find that reviewing my goals helps to put everything into perspective and decide where to go next.
Reading over my current goals allows me to remember where I want to go. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, which can be difficult to do when dealing with disappointment.
It also reenergizes me. It helps me to get my focus back on the things that matter. I remember that this disappointment is one little brick within an entire wall that I’m building.
Once I review my goals and start to feel focused again, I immediately begin looking for the next thing to pursue. You have to constantly be going after something.
That’s the only way that I’ve found I am able to stay pumped up about life. Without a goal, you’re simply just existing. You need something that gets you excited every day.
Once you find that next thing, go all out in getting after it. Put all of your anger and frustration into going after that new goal. It will pay off.
Pivoting from disappointment
Disappointment is never easy. It only seems to get harder. Unfortunately, it’s part of life and something that we need to deal with if we want to be high performance people.
It’s important to get over a disappointment quickly and minimize the negative effects it has on your life. This is much easier said than done, I know.
The time it takes to recover from a disappointment will be different for every situation. The important thing is to proactively take steps to address it and move on.
You have to keep in mind that the current disappointment you are dealing with is going to make the next win that much sweeter.
In fact, when you look back you will be grateful you went through the disappointments you did in most situations.
Keep going and do not quit on your life. Ever.
Thanks for reading,